Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
