It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
