First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
