Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
