and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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