Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
