Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
