I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
