Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
