just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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