I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
