The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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