you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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