Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
