Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
