its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
