Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
