I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
