do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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