1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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