i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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