I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
