I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dear god my vagina.
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