Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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