I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
