We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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