a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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