I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize