told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
