I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
