filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My ass is underappreciated
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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