this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
