JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
