In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize