my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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