Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
