I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize