every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this will be a night to untag.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
