i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You left your phone here
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