I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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