Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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