So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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