we made out on top of his cat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
