So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
