Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
