Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
