Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
