arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
