she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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