My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
