it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
