Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize