im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
