We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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