Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
