Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
