That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
