I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize