hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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